Today’s women are shattering glass ceiling with their high heels and lifting the weight of their dreams with manicured fingers.

Recently, mother introduced me to an uncle.

“Oh, so it is just you and your elder sister?”

“Just? I think we are a handful for mom-dad.”- I could sense his misogynist thoughts finding a way out of his mouth.

“Yes yes, but didn’t you and Jignesh ever consider trying for a son?” 

“No, we were blessed with two girls and that was enough for us.”-said mother in a cold tone.

Uncle, just like me sensed the annoyance in her voice and said while awkwardly giggling- “Jignesh must have raised them as royally as boys! No?”

“I had two girls, why would I raise them as boys? They were raised like goddesses because that’s what they are- true Goddesses.”

You see, both my parents knew that they were raising two girls, educating them to grow up to be reputable women in a man’s world.

Ever since I can remember until today’s date, my mother makes sure that my sister and I understand the intensity of growing up in a patriarchal society. She reminds us that we are girls and so, to reach the same position as a man, we will have to work twice as hard. She reminds us that no matter how open-minded the society says it is, fingers will always be pointed at the lady first. Women will always be held answerable. We will be expected to be a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, a good mother, all-in-all, a good woman but we mustn’t ever forget that our only goal should be to become good humans.

My father makes sure that we remember that he did not raise us as if we were his sons, we were raised like girls, and we had to make space for ourselves in this world where women are expected to take the backseat, while the man controls the steering wheel without forgetting that we are not one of them, we are different. He taught us that we do not have to play masculine to be a strong woman.

We were never asked to be home before the sun goes down, or to learn how to make chai, or to talk a certain way, or act like a girl. 

Instead, we were given intense training in identifying good adrak-chai places wherever we go, in learning to make it home safe without needing a male to protect us, in knowing how to give someone the right amount of izzat and gaali as per the situation we are in, and the best of all, we were trained to be whoever we wanted to be, without having to put on an act for anybody’s approval.

So yes, my parents did quite a good job but they too are Indian parents preparing their girls for a wild world. There are times when mother can’t sleep all night because didi is out clubbing!

Unknown place, known dangers.

There are times when father gets worried for me because not everyone in the world celebrates a highly- opinionated, loud girl who never misses a chance to call out bullshit.

Empowered beti, but over-powering duniya.

I have had both of them sit my sister and I down and tell us how the world is cruel and how there is a 70% chance that our high expectations from life will never be met.

So to think of it, it is funny. It is hilarious because they gave us huge wings to fly, forgetting that we would need the space to let them wide open which the world does not have to offer us. 

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to raise girls in a man’s world.

It must be heartbreaking for wanting to give your child equal opportunities but not being able to.

It must be soul-shaking to read about those young girls being raped in bright daylight and then seeing your daughter leave the safe walls of a home.

It must feel foolish to teach your daughter self-defense even when you know her life depends on a man’s self-control on the street.

Isn’t it time to raise true goddesses and not just “good wives”? Doesn’t it bother you that it is still called a man’s world? When will things fall into right place? I am still wondering.

When these thoughts don’t let me sleep at night, I seek assurance in knowing that there are parents raising strong, admirable women like Seema Samridhi, Michelle Obama, Sushma Swaraj. We will be fine. Right?

Yours truly,

Jasmita Shah