I am sorry I haven’t been posting lately,

But that is because I haven’t been writing anything lately.

I have been very unhappy.

No no, I am not depressed;

I am not on anti-depressants.

I am just very unhappy.

Yes I question the point of existence,

But I am not suicidal.

I am just unhappy.

You see, I have a laughing fit at least once, every day

I smile and seem just normal,

But I am unhappy.

I have a safe home to live in,

Good food to relish,

A great family to rely on,

And friends to die for.

And still, 

I sleep during the day when I am supposed to be studying,

But lie sleepless in my bed all through the night; questioning if this is how I will feel for the rest of my life.

I have words to describe anything and everything, I talk a lot

But lately, I can’t even point my finger at the emotion I am feeling; how do you describe being unhappy for no apparent reason to someone?

I am a tiny person,

But these days I eat a lot; perhaps to fill the empty spaces in my heart.

I have big dreams and aspirations,

But no motivation to work for them because what if I fail?

I love music; it makes me feel things even when I am numb,

But lately, I avoid anything with a tune for the fear of feeling emotions I am ignoring.

I haven’t touched a book in months,

But I am a passionate reader; they help me escape the harsh reality.

You see, I am not who I used to be 

I am unlike me

I am lost

I am clueless

I am scared

I am paralysed

But most important of all,

I am unhappy.

There is a humongous stone on my chest,

Deafening silence in my head,

This startling sting in my heart,

Reminding me; every passing second that

I am very unhappy.

There is an addition to my to-do list every day,

But I get no work done.

I am just so unhappy.

I am sorry if I sound overdramatic,

I don’t mean to

It is just that I am so unhappy

I pray daily,

I swear I do,

Ask God to give me a superpower

So that nobody ever has to feel so unhappy.