This shall be pretty long. Bear with me.

छोडो मेहँदी खडक संभालो
खुद ही अपना चीर बचा लो
द्यूत बिछाये बैठे शकुनि,
मस्तक सब बिक जायेंगे
सुनो द्रोपदी शस्त्र उठालो, अब गोविंद ना आयेंगे|

कब तक आस लगाओगी तुम,
बिक़े हुए अखबारों से,
कैसी रक्षा मांग रही हो
दुशासन दरबारों से|

स्वयं जो लज्जा हीन पड़े हैं
वे क्या लाज बचायेंगे
सुनो द्रोपदी शस्त्र उठालो अब गोविंद ना आयंगे|

कल तक केवल अँधा राजा,
अब गूंगा बहरा भी है
होठ सी दिए हैं जनता के,
कानों पर पहरा भी है|

तुम ही कहो ये अश्रु तुम्हारे,
किसको क्या समझायेंगे?
सुनो द्रोपदी शस्त्र उठालो, अब गोविंद ना आयंगे|

When the internet was mourning the Hathras Rape Case, I heard a poignant reading of this poem written by Pushyamitra Upadhyay. It got engraved in my head and its been more than a month and I still constantly find myself reciting it.

As I started to write my thoughts about this beautiful poem for the blog, I was reminded that I already did write something very similar. I took part in a story writing competition last November and I submitted the story below, even though its seems a little naive now, I am still proud of the message I tried to convey. I titled the story- Nirbhaya for I hold her very close to my heart. It was her suffering that opened my eyes to the cruel world I am to become a woman in. Luckily, we did get justice for her in March!

“I am Hyderabad’s Priyanka Reddy. I am Jammu’s Asifa Bano. I am India’s Nirbhaya.”- she said with a shimmer in her eyes, loud and clear on the stage in front of a thousand listeners. I wasn’t sure if her eyes shimmered because of the tears she was hiding, or because of the pride that overflowed in her eyes. 

Yes, she took names of girls brutally raped and left to die with pride, I found it absurd too but before I could hear further, mother pulled me away. We were in a rush but I did read the banner outside- “Modern day Draupadi by Kiara Singhania” 

Despite the noise and chaos at the wedding, I could still hear those names repeatedly in my head; it wasn’t that I hadn’t heard these names before, I was there at the candle march held for Dr. Priyanka Reddy, I saw celebrities post online for justice for Asifa but it was the sound of her unapologetic, thunderous voice on the mic that left me enthralled. I recognized that voice, that name did ring a bell but I just couldn’t put my finger on where did I know her from.

I went back home and looked up ‘Kiara Singhania’ on the internet. I instantly knew who she was. I stalked all her social media handles, and came across videos of her conducting sessions like the one today. 

This was the same girl who bombarded our history teacher in 7^th grade when he dared to joke about “the insignificant role of women in history.”

That rebel was now 27-years-old and ran many NGOs, conducted sessions on topics of major concern in rural areas, was a story-teller and a motivational speaker. 

SheTube had numerous videos of her sharing her take on rape culture, acid attacks, mental health and what not. 

Kiara spoke on Draupadi’s cheerharan, Sita’s agnipariksha, even Laxmibai’s valor. The way she narrated stories about women across the globe, from all timeframes, they seemed to come to life; their laughter could be heard, their beauty touched, and their pain felt. She had the talent of painting such a magnificent picture with her words. I became a true fan the minute she said- “Men should be grateful that women just want equality and not revenge” in the very second video I watched. I followed her, wrote to her about how much I loved her work, how proud I was of her.

Kiara had been fighting a case against attempt to rape for six years. The day the verdict came out in her favor, she uploaded a video sharing her story with the whole world. It wasn’t shot on big cameras with great lighting and perfect make up like the others. This was different; it was shot on her phone while she cried, smiled and celebrated in her car. She started off with the same lines as she always did. “I am Jammu’s Asifa, I am Karnataka’s Madhu. I am India’s Nirbhaya.” Today, I knew her eyes shimmered because of the brimming joy, and relief. 

“Women have been denied of their rights, their dignity, their freedom for centuries. Sita was forced to give the agnipariksha to prove her purity, Ahaliya was cursed for being naïve, Draupadi was harassed in a room full of virtuous men. I grew up listening to stories about these women, so talking about them is easy but what happened to me, happens to every other girl these days, so talking about it must be easier.” 
As she narrated her story, I felt my heart sinking in its cavity- “I was dragged into an empty, dimly lit corridor of my university by the President of the student committee six years ago because I refused to leave the college fest early with him.”

She paused. Kiara needed these pauses; no, not to control her tears, she had set them free that day, but to gather her thoughts and herself. “I tried fighting back, kicked him, threw as many punches as I could, but he had his friend to help him. The two of them started forcing themselves on me, at one point I gave up. The pain was too much to bear, the disgust too much to feel, so, I went numb. It all went down so fast that this was the first time I was alone with my thoughts. In that moment of solitary aching, I tried to find comfort in the stories my grandma told me, she told me how I would never be alone, my god will always come to save me. I prayed. I prayed to be saved, I looked for Krishna because according to the epic, it was him who had saved Draupadi when her honor was in question. But as I felt him rip my clothes off, I realize I wasn’t living in an epic, I wasn’t Draupadi, I had no Krishna who would just show up to save me. I had to be my own Krishna. In that moment I realized that someone had to retell these epics, bring back the honor and credit that is due to my goddesses because if history wasn’t told the way it was, my girls would have grown up to believe in themselves more than anyone or anything. I took back the charge and fought with all my heart. I ran. I survived. So what if Nirbhaya didn’t, I will fight for her until justice is served. I am unstoppable; I am fearless; I am Nirbhaya!”

…..

It has been 8 years to this video breaking the internet internationally, and I still get chills every time I watch it. 

Oh, we have finally arranged our school’s first reunion. I can’t wait to see Kiara and introduce her to my daughter- Nirbhaya.