Disclaimer- I very well know that I am privileged; I grew up in a loving family with great friends studying at a reputed school with a silver spoon in my mouth. So, when I talk of my pain or suffering or struggles, I very well know that they are nothing in proportion to what people around me might have gone through.

But that’s the point I am trying to make today! 

You see when we win a battle, when we are happy, when we are celebrating, do we ever say- “but others won more, others are happier, others have more things to celebrate”

Do we? Do we diminish our joy by comparing it to others’?

No. I don’t think so.

So then why are we told- “but others have it worse, others are in bigger problems, others know more pain”, when we lose, when we are unhappy, when we are mourning?

Why are we comparing our pain, suffering, loss, heartbreak to others’?

If I earned my right to celebrate my joy, I also earned the right to mourn my pain.

Nobody should get the right to ridicule my suffering just because “others have it worse” because I am sorry, I truly am for those who have it worse. I can only imagine the courage it must take for them to wake up every morning fight their battles with all that ache, I can only empathize.

I can empathize, only because I too have felt some sort of pain, gloom, failure and all I ask for is my chance to mourn my loss, irrespective of how major or significant it is.

I need that voice in my head to stop saying that others have it worse. Be grateful. Stop complaining. Acknowledge your privilege.

You see, I am a half glass full kind of a person. I believe. I know in my heart that the gloom will pass and I have faith that the Sun will rise again. I am optimistic. I am grateful.

But the clouds around me aren’t filled with glitter and a unicorn is not farting rainbows on my head. I have my bad days. The clouds turn shades of blue that can easily be mistaken for black. And then there are dragons spitting fire on my heart. The Sun sets for me and the glass turns half empty. 

I am human. 

I feel pain and I struggle. And the only way I can overcome this gloom is by feeling my pain completely. I want to cry and mourn. I want to say that I am suffering and that life sucks. It is unfair!

So let me. Let me feel my pain without dismissing it because it is not as harsh as how “others have it.”

I have learned to be a half glass full and half glass empty person; not or, but and. Because yes, I have it much better than some, I am privileged. My glass is full but then I also feel distress and the fact that it is way less than what some do, does not make it insignificant. I should be allowed to say that I have my glass empty too.

We really do need to stop telling people how to feel, what to feel, and when to feel. 

We decide that for ourselves. Shouldn’t we?

Is this much joy enough to be counted as a victory? Is this much mourning enough to let go of my sorrows? Am I content? Am I hurting?

Decide for yourself, stop letting the world ridicule your feelings!