I should have walked away when you shook hands with me
at a party, everybody was only at to get laid
or when you put cinnamon in your tea instead of ginger
or when you said you would rather give up alcohol but never quit smoking
when you fell asleep in my bed at 10:16 pm on a Friday night
when you bought a mortar and pastel to grind your own garam masala
or when you asked me what my middle name was as if it is not common knowledge that almost all Gujaratis have their father’s name as their middle name
or when you told me you didn’t know who Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan was
I should have walked away when you asked me to look into your eyes
as you made love to me
and when you pulled me back from the bike lane
right when I was about to walk into a speeding man
your exes still call you every other weekend, you are good friends
and you complain about “the roast” every time we try a new cafe
I should have walked away when you asked me what I meant when I said I was pansexual
or when you made me soup on a Sunday morning
because I partied too hard with my friends the previous night
you haven’t watched Devdas
and while you say you like Salman Khan over Shah Rukh “ironically”
I don’t think you’re being funny, maybe you actually are that cringe
I should have walked away when you told me you were twenty-seven years old
I am only twenty-two
and I know it is not that big of a difference but
you call movie theatres “cinema halls” and like aubergines
I have met your extended family already and
I do not think your niece is lying about being lactose intolerance so stop bullying her
you once called to ask me how to post a carousel of pictures on Instagram
and you use way too many emojis when you text
I should have walked away when you said you hate teacup sets
“I love a weird collection of cups and mugs, no two of the same type”
when the bank manager in Fleabag said- “I want to take clean cups out of the dishwasher and put them in the cupboard at home and the next morning, I want to watch my wife drink from them.”
you want a wife
and three kids, preferably girls
a big house in a respectable neighbourhood
two cars with airbags in the front and the back
a stable source of income and investment in more than three properties
it would be better if your wife is an overachiever too because
you are ambitious and mediocrity annoys you
but if she chooses to stay at home, you would love to “bring the bacon home”
you want an early retirement
and custom Saint Laurent bags and belts every weekend like its candy
I should have walked away because
routines scare me
and marriage is too binding
I think YSL is overrated
and I can never drive an XUV
but you know that, we have discussed this for hours
we want different lives
so why did I not walk away?
why did I find a quiet corner at that party to talk through the night with you?
and why did I ask you to come over after?
and why do I like looking into your eyes as I struggle to catch my breath?
why do I drink cinnamon tea now?
and why do I hate the idea of you buying matching teacups?

why would you buy teacups
when I have already collected half a dozen mugs
from every cafe you liked the roast of your double-shot espresso at