I love you.
Three words, eight letters and a whole lot of subtext.
Jackie Shroff once claimed that the word love has not much value;
One says I love my mom and then says I love these shoes
How can you feel the same feeling for a pair of Jordans and the woman who gave you life?
But Yoko Ono said the greatest regret of her life was
Not saying I love you enough
And I have had that monologue, Mark Sloan said in Grey’s Anatomy by heart forever-
“If you love someone, you tell them…. even if
you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it,
you say it loud and you go from there.”

In my house, we say “bye, goodnight, Jai Jinendra, Jay Shree Krishna I love you” every night
Even when we are continents away and time zones apart.
This girl whispered- “I think I love you” right after we shared our first kiss
And then there was one who said “We don’t say I love you, we just do.”

I have used my I love yous so carefully
As if I have only a handful for this lifetime
So I think and rethink if this feeling is strong enough to be called love
If this person is worthy enough to be loved
If the moment is perfect enough to say that I love
My sister on the other hand walks this earth knowing she has as many I love yous
As many breaths left in her lungs
So she loves, unapologetically.
There is no caution, no fear, no what after?
I think that is how I want to love
I want to love and say that I do
No more using I love you only on specific occasions, for specific people in specific contexts

I love you.
I love you in the now
And I love you in all lifetimes
I love you in this one dimension
And I love you with all your layers
I love you.
I love you for picking up your bag to empty the seat on the subway, stranger
I love you for sending me your mom’s chicken curry recipe, neighbour
I love you for tagging the cafe in your Instagram post so I don’t have to search for it, influencer
I love you for loving me unconditionally, lover
I love you for holding my hair back as I throw up, my friend
I love you cab driver
I love you mum
I love fries
And the coffee place right outside my childhood home
Not in the same way, not to the same degree
But I love you. I do.

Sometimes it is fleeting and sometimes forever
Sometimes it is conditional and sometimes absolute
Sometimes it is only a hunch and sometimes inevitable

I love you.

I am done using these three words like its currency
It is not gold
You do not have to earn these words
Or be so grand and amazing
You do not have to work and prove your worth to be loved
You are loved for trying
And I will remind you just that
I love you.

If I dont love as freely and as easily,
If my love cannot be shared with everyone
Then what sets me apart from other living beings?
How am I different from an elephant?
Or from a wolf?
I do not love only to mate and neither do I mate for life
I love, again and again
Deeply and constantly
In all ways and shapes and forms
In all conditions and contexts
So I will say it, every chance I get-
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.