Back home, touching your elders’ feet means seeking their blessings. You bow down, sometimes partially to only reach their knees out of laziness and sometimes completely to touch both their feet with both your palms, they place their right hand on your head and whisper the sweetest blessings.
If it is your birthday, they wish you a happy and successful coming year, if you are getting married, they wish you a successful and fulfilling marriage. On other days they wish you healthy kids, they wish you good luck, they wish you patience, strength and joy.

We believe there are seven chakras in the human body. The crown chakra is at the top of our head. So when one places their hand on the head of someone bowing down, they pass their energies: their blessings, directly to the crown chakra which then travels through their entire body, manifesting the blessings into reality. Some also believe you bow down so that the energies are passed onto the pituitary gland near your brain. Whichever is true, we bow down as a sign of respect, getting blessings is just a fortunate consequence.

The thing about India is that people hand out blessings like candy.

You help a man load his cart on the street, he says- bless you
You give your seat on the bus to an elder woman, she says- bless you
You bring a glass of water to your mum, she says- bless you
You remind your teacher where we left the reading last class, she says- bless you
You massage your father’s head mindlessly while watching Netflix, he says- bless you
You remind your sister to charge her phone before going out, she says- bless you
You bring your friend a tampon in the school restroom and she says- bless you
Sometimes, people hand out prasad from some temple they visited to share their blessings and to them you say- bless you

I was the youngest in a family of 11 and on all auspicious days, we would touch all our elders’ feet. So obviously I had the most bending and bowing to do. And we are a traditional family of some sort, we had many auspicious days and celebrations. In my immature, childish mind this felt like a hassle.
Today as I sit at my study table in an empty house in the Netherlands, I realise how lucky I was. I haven’t been home in over seven months. I always give up my seat on the tram, I sometimes help elder people at Albert Heijn bag their groceries and if someone drops something I always rush to help them. Yes, I love helping people and I love being useful in a situation but I also go out of my way to do these things because

I yearn for a simple bless you.

Sometimes I have dreams about being home on Diwali and touching everyone’s feet after Laxmi Pujan. How my brother would jump around because he didn’t like it when we touched his feet, how my grandfather’s friend would say- “Girls don’t bow down, you want me to go to hell? It’s a sin!”, how my dad would hug me tightly and get a little emotional, how my mum always had french tips on her pedicured feet and how my seventy-five years old grandma would never do the stereotypical- “may you find a good husband” for my sisters and I, instead she has always wished we studied a lot and topped our class.
Not to sound weird but I often have dreams about bowing to my elders, demanding they place their hand on my head, I cry when I think about touching their feet for a minute too long because

I yearn for a simple bless you.

Maybe it is a cultural difference and people just don’t believe in blessings in the Netherlands because let alone saying bless you when someone gives you their seat or picks up your bags, people here don’t even say bless you when you sneeze. It is so weird. Maybe they believe only god can bless you and not other humans. I am not sure. But I am sure of the strength of your elders’ blessing.

They say heavy is the head that wears the crown but have you ever felt the heaviness of your six-foot-tall uncle’s hand on your head as you seek his blessings before moving continents? He whispers- “may you bring pride to the family name”, have you?
The already heavy hand suddenly feels like 50kgs on your head and the weight of the family name pulls your shoulders down. However, the simplicity and ease with which these words rolled off his tongue, the warmth of his faith in your potential and the strength of his blessings envelope you in this weird belief- obviously I will. I have to. I must. I have the blessings of hundreds, if not thousands of uncles and aunties, grandmas, priests, and random strangers who have placed their hand on my head and said- “god bless you” for the past nineteen years of my life.

Do you know the unshakable confidence you harbour when you have your elder’s blessings? Do you know the strength you possess with your elders’ hand on your head? Nothing seems impossible. You are never truly alone. Fear is fleeting. Even if things are falling apart, it is always a bad day and never a bad life. I hope everyone gets to experience life this way. I hope everyone has an elder’s hand on their head. I hope everyone gets to be in India at some point because irrespective of whether they belong above the poverty or below, whether they have a glass of water to offer you or not, one can trust an Indian to always offer you their blessings.

You will always find an earnest “bless you” around the corner.