For my home away from home who is now away from their home,

For Rishika- because she never replied to my mails.

lol hahaha

कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

Remember when we first met? 

Back then I was the one with short hair and your wore a braid

You always had the complete opposite take on whatever the class was discussing 

You were always writing something in your diary

You were a snob

And I wanted you to know that I admired your uniqueness 

2011 में भी, कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

When we would cross paths in the corridor years later, 

I would marvel at the fact that you were wearing the girls’ skirt today,

While yesterday you came dressed in the boys’ uniform

You knew people were talking behind your back but 

Did you care?

I wanted to ask for some of your rebellious courage 

तब भी, कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

And in 9th grade, 

When I yelled at you for not doing the work assigned to you

For not showing up when you were asked to,

You stood quietly and took one for the team

When I found out, कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

Somehow the universe conspired to bring us together

Two polar opposites, 

Who will never see eye to eye or so I thought 

When in reality we were merely two sides

Of the absolute same coin.

At the new school, I wanted to thank you 

For being home away from home

For always challenging me to look at things differently

For being just a slightly different reflection of the same girl who wore braids and wrote in her diary back in 2011

मुझे तुमसे कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

And when you left for college, 

I wanted to wish you all great things,

I wanted to warn you about the cruel world,

I wanted to protect you from all of it,

I wanted to save some of your innocence for me,

I wanted to yell at you for moving away,

I wanted to pretend to understand Nietzcsche one more time,

I wanted to thank you for being you

Of all the things I wanted to say that night,

I said, see you on the other side.

No goodbyes, sloppy hugs, teary smiles

तब भी मुझे कहना बहुत कुछ था पर बोल नहीं पाई

शायद डर था तुम समझ नहीं पाओगी

शायद ग़ुरूर था की मैं पिघल जाऊँगी

शायद गलतफेमी थी कि समय रुक जाएगा

शायद उम्मीद थी हमारा मिलना फिर आएगा

तो अब इंतज़ार कर रही हूँ

तुम्हारे लोटने का